I thought I knew what this diet was until I started reading book last night . My brother was on the diet last year and I sort of zones out when he was talking about it. I have been on LITERALLY every diet known to man. I have been “fat” since I was 10 years ols. My parents had me in an experimental research lab at 11 years old wearing a golf par counter on my wrist and counting mouthfuls, checking in at medical lab weekly and journaling my eating habits.
My dad was crazy good looking ( cross between Paul Newman and Harrison Ford) and competitive squash player, went to University on Gymnastics scholarship does heli-skiing, etc. My mom is also quite beautiful- although the year of alcohol abuse have taken their toll.
Good lucks were a premium in our home. I think it was an affront to him that he had a chubby daughter.
I find it interesting that all three of the kid have serious weight issues. Neither my brother or sister as severs as mine but both have BMI over 35-40. I struggled my entirely life and brother and sister in their mid-20’s.
At any rate, I have dieted since I can remember. I was on a low-carb diet when i was 15 and lost TON of weight ( though this was probably more because of binging and purging)
I did manage to stay “chubby” well into my 20’snefore seriously packing it on. I went up to 250 lbs and then Slim-fasted my way to 165, and it was then for the first time in my life I felt really beautiful. I remember one day walking down the street and catching a reflection myself in shop window and not knowing who the person was- and then crying because I had DONE it.
Four years later I was got married. I weighed 273 lbs on my Wedding Day (11 years ago).
I hovered around that weight a long time. I even lost some weight when i got pregnant.
I left my husband when my baby was 6 months old. He began abusing alcohol in a frightening way and was become increasingly violent. I met some one new 3 years later and re-married ( he is wonderful). I was still around the 275 mark. That was 7 years ago and I had another baby 4 years ago and now weigh 313 as of yesterday.
In between those years I went to Jenny Craig ( went for 270 to 210… then back again) Weight Watchers ( 3 times). I never had much luck with Weight Watchers- and one week I even gained. Was a vegetarian for 3 years. Joined countless gym’s, hundreds of dollars worth of exercise videos and dvd’s. Yoga classes, Pilate’s, swimming, biking- you name it and and it was always going to be the answer.
I have tried : Fit for Life, Pritikin, Cabbage Soup Diet, Low Carb, Atkins, Food combining , counting fat and fibre grams, etc.
So I am sceptical. I repeat myself- but I am faith-less. Each new diet or program does seem like start of another failure. On the outside I look excited and family and friends would never know. But deep down I feel entirely without hope. I am trying to turn that around- and “behave” my way out of despair, but I have vowed to myself that I will be entirely honest on this blog- and strip my emotions down. I am without hope.
Yesterday I felt a glimmer when I went to pharmacy to fill the Meridia prescription. Last night I read the Glycemic Index diet book. I felt old feeling return. That sensation of- “could this be it? “… and “I can’t bear it if it isn’t. ”